Les miserables

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Dear [blank] please [blank]

Dear:

nice ugly guys / hot douche bags who can’t articulate two sentences, who are not that great in bed and who I keep just because they are eye candy (similar to a really nice bag) / creepy stalkers who do not get the point even after one year of being refused / older guys who think they can overpower me just because they have a few extra wrinkles / shy guys for whom I have to  compromise my social life / worst sex I’ve ever had  guys (you know who you are, but a lady never tells!) / guys who are neither good, nor bad but to whom I got used to / bad boys who I liked because somehow they made me feel dangerous (but they treat every girl like ass wipe) / clueless younger guys I’ve hooked up with just because you have more energy and I thought I could mold you into my own living vibrator / confused guys which end up being gay but not really / guys who cry after THEY have cheated / guys who just dump their emotional baggage on you as if you were their shrink / guys who throw jealous fits as if they were hysterical misunderstood teenage girls / guys who cannot hold their alcohol and always cause a scene / guys who are too cheap or dumb or both to pay for your drinks on a date / fully grown men who still spend hours and hours playing Xbox or PS3 / guys who wear tight white pants, wife beaters, anything pink, too much gel, or any bling-bling,

Please organize a fun event like, let’s say, a mass suicide (hey, it’s fun for everyone else), or at least move to a very, very far away place (hint: Jupiter isn’t far enough).

Thank you in advance,

Me, and the rest of the sane female population. And the gays too!


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