Les miserables

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Universal truths

1. No matter how many layers of clothes you wear, if you nose is cold, you are cold.
2. When guys say they don’t like skinny girls, they actually mean they don’t like anorexic girls. Megan Fox and Halle Berry are skinny, and their Body Mass Index is below the recommended interval. Your idea of “curvy” still requires a great deal of exercise and diet.
3. Whenever someone tells me money doesn’t buy happiness, I want to take that person’s house, belongings and life savings and maybe give them cancer or some other similar disease, and see how their non-materialistic views of the world take him out of this predicament!
4. People who hate animals and/or are cruel to animals are the serial killers of tomorrow. Fact.
5. Saying that if one does not vote he shouldn’t talk politics is like telling someone that if he wants to eat he can only choose the foods on a certain menu. In reality, you can wait until you get to a place where they serve what you want to eat. You should eat what you want, not what they tell you that you should have.
6. Lack of patience is a deadly sin, as well as a deadly mistake. 
7. Anti-islamists and pro-Christians suffer from selective/lack of memory. Remember the crusades (among which there was also a children’s crusade), the catholic inquisition, the witch trials and all the other nice religious wars that stain the western cultures with blood? If not, then you should at least pride yourselves with other proactive accomplishments such as the Stockholm shootings or the Centennial Olympic Park bombing. 
8. Saying you don’t love your country is like saying you don’t love your mother. In any of the cases, you are more than likely a major douche!
9. You can’t discover a land which is already inhabited by people. Just saying, America.
10. Don’t judge younger generations by your standards. Evolution and improvements happen by taking out the old and bringing in the new. Easy to say now, let’s try to remember this when we’ll be the old and others the new.
11. The original coke recipe is still top secret. If you’re not telling me exactly what’s in that bottle, then I’m not drinking it!
12. You should be able to both spend a weekend reading books and meditating AND partying like a rock star.
13. Both new and old friends can disappoint. Don’t put someone on a pedestal just because of the length of time they’ve been around.
14. Curiosity is okay, even healthy, but obsessing over my life shows large gaps in yours.
15. Pretending to be smarter than you actually are is as foul as not taking a shower.
16. Never EVER be rude to your waiter, bartender or cook. These are the people preparing what you’ll put in your belly.
17. Beauty is relative, stupidity, unfortunately, isn’t.
18. If you haven’t been to my country, don’t badmouth it. Ass!
19. A little narcissism is healthy and necessary. Self loathers either have serious mental problems or they are hypocrites.
20. If you always steer clear of what’s different, you’ll never find beauty,
21. Pity the living, the suffering, the ones left behind. The dead are probably resting now.
22. If you spend too much time worrying about the damnation of my soul, you might get yours in trouble.
23. On Justin Bieber: if you’re a 35 year old person hating on a 17 year old kid who made a career out of scratch, based purely on talent and hard work, guess who’s the one with problems?
24. Keep some of yourself to yourself. Don’t be an open buffet to anyone.
25. The world is divided into 2 categories: people who like olives, and weirdos.
26. Hey Western Europe, don’t call them ‘night shops’ if they close by 10 pm. That’s more like an ‘evening shop’.
27. The prettiest people sometimes have the ugliest hearts. 
28. The greatest philanthropists are the ones whose names we don’t know.
29. No one likes someone with a constant angry look on their face. Put on a happy face, that’s how you’ll appear interesting to others. Otherwise you’ll just look constipated.
30. Sometimes, when things are going too well, expect shit to hit the fan. It will, soon enough!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

All I want for Christmas is ...

you a whole bunch of stuff! And since December is around the corner, I'm letting Santa know in advance so he can be as thorough as possible. So here is what I WANT WANT WANT!

  • Doc Martens!!! I'm normally not a biggie on grunge, but lately Dr. M's are really catching my eye, especially the Victorian Flower Prints, the Potent Purple Suedes, the Blythe Faded Pink Suedes, the Aries Tan Wool Boots, and the Juney Beige High Boots! 
  • I would also not mind a pair of amazingness aka Havaianas Closed Toe Espadrilles - although I'm not in the clear whether these are both indoor AND outdoor friendly?
  • Urban Decay Baked bronzer for face and body, Urban Decay Midnight Cowboy Shimmer Lotion, meaning, anything that makes me look less ghostly white and more tanned and shiny! 
  • I have had  a recent obsession for oversized envelope clutches, and since I layed my greedy eyes on Camille Zarsky's Red Portfolio clutch, I've fallen deeply in love! 
  • Alain Mikli's Vintage Black glasses, or any type of shades that resemble Apfel Iris' trademark look! I am an eccentric octogenary deep down afterall!
  • Sephora's Smokey Eye kit and Urban Decay's Naked Brush Kit, just because there's no such thing as too much makeup!
  • Sparkling Lickable Body Powder - it makes me sparkly and delicious, need I say more?
  • Reese's Peanut Butter Cups - the guiltiest of pleasures, give me Reese's and you'll have my heart!
  • I was doubting between Opi's Nicki Minaj collection, but once you get past the wow factor you realize that the colors are rather unapproachable and Opi's Shatter Effect Set is much more versatile and just plain cool!
  • The Charlotte Olympia Kitty Flats, because they are the most adorable things out there!
  • Violent Lips Red Leopard Print, cause I do want a Gaga moment around Christmas time.

So there it is Santa, and exhaustive list of what my heart desires! So let's make it happen, shall we?

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Monosyllabic - episode 1

NO - Moustaches

Why in the world would anyone ever subject himself (and in some very unfortunate cases - herself) to such a gloomy appearance. It doesn't look good, never did, never will. Brad Pitt couldn't pull it off, neither could Ashton Kutcher. So for humanity's sake, take it off!

YES - Basic grooming of facial hair

Come on people, you can do it! Just take a look at what an improvement a lack of moustache makes!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Tell me what you eat and I’ll tell you who you are

Tell me what you eat and I’ll tell you who you are – how many times have you heard this, and how many times do you shop for certain types of food just because you think that it would make you feel a bit more interesting to the ones around you?

I for one always look at what the people in front of me have bought when I’m at the cash register in the store. I have discovered a few typologies already: the burned out mothers who buy ‘basics’ such as flour, milk, eggs and butter in bulk (no, seriously, it’s like they’re planning on cooking pancakes for the entire population of China!), the couple who have been dating for 4-5 months max and who buy an eggplant, fondue cheese and a bottle of red wine, or the preteens who buy a can of coke and a lion bar.

But there are so many more categories! There’s the food snobs – how I hate the food snobs! I have this idea (I’m pretty sure it’s a fact, but I need more palpable proof to confirm it) that there is this certain category of delicacies that only snobs, the French and gay people like, and that they are in fact not delicacies, but crap – there, I said it. Take sushi for example – it’s made out of vinegared rice, sea weed and raw fish. It is a death wrap of disgusting and somehow people swear that they think it’s delicious. Well I swear I played charades with Elvis last night, so I’ll believe you when you’ll believe me. It’s like a person saying he drinks vodka straight because he likes the taste, and not because he wants to get drunk. I call bullshit!

Then there’s the more unfortunate category of people who are regulars at McDonald’s or KFC for lunch. And just like C.K. Louis said about Cinna-buns, there’s a certain category of people who go to fast food chains for lunch. You don’t see a diversity of people sitting in line, talking about their last session at the gym. They are the people who earlier that day stood in front of me at the grocery store and bought frozen burgers, 5 bags of chips and a six pack of coke. A friend once told me that if he worked at McDonalds and a very fat person would order the extra large combo (as they so often do), he would bring the fatty a salad, and if the pudding face would argue that it’s not what he ordered, my friend would say “it’s not what you ordered, but it’s what you deserve for giving up on life!” Take a hint McDonald’s HR team, these are words of wisdom!

And I’ll leave you with one more category, one that makes my insides turn: the other end of the food spectrum aka the health freaks with a slight touch of gourmet. The things that they cook need half a page only to write down the name of the dish. It’s never pasta, but shrimp and pasta in a sweet, buttery, Amaretto sauce with sliced almonds, broccoli, and carrots decorated with fresh basil leafs. Aaaaannnndddd my soul just stabbed itself repeatedly!

Conclusion? Stop trying to impress and just eat what you want – unless you are me and “what you want“ means you want to stuff your face with everything, all the time – then just don’t! We haven’t gone through millions of years of evolution to go back to eating raw meat (and being proud of it), but that doesn’t mean we have to go from human to killer whale either.

Thank me later society for putting such healthy ideas out there!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Romanian Hip-hop plus Suie Paparude

Annett my dear, this one is especially for you:) I hope you will like them all, I chose my favorite Romanian hip-hop songs while growing up and a few new ones.

Also, at the end a bonus, Suie Paparude, they are not a hip-hop band but I will give it a try, makybe you like them too. Suie is probably my favorite Romanian band.

Maximilian - Supereroul tau (Your superhero) - I love to listen to this song at work:) love the beat

Maximilian - Sophie - maximilian looks super hot in this video with the hat and the glasses but he is actually pretty ugly :P

BUG Mafia - Ridica-ma la cer (Raise me to Heaven) - one of my favorite hip-hop songs of all times :) I think I was in 5th grade and listening to this song before bed :) - I have always been a gangsta!!!:P

BUG Mafia - Fara cuvinte ( No words) - this is a song BUG made with Loredana, trying to get the great response they got years ago with Ridica-ma la cer. I don';t think they managed to do that ...the video is also super sad.

BUG Mafia - Cu talpile arse (Burned feet) - another obsession of mine (from 2 years ago) I was listening to this song for like 20 times a day:) - the video is suuuper weird!

BUG Mafia - Strazile (The streets) - this song is from 4-5 years ago, I still love the beat and can rap you this song anytime of the day:) - i know all the words by heart:)

Guess WHo - Tot mai sus - this is a super hit now in Romania, it's cute but super commercial - not real hip-hop.

Guess Who - Locul Potrivit ( The right place) - the kids at the beginning of the song sing a communist song that little children used to sing in school before 1989 (the communist song is about the future and how they will follow the good example of their parents and will make all dreams become reality and make their country super extra nice).

Puya - VEstul SAlbatic (Wild Wild West) - this Puya guy has good lines, i always liked them, his beats are too oriental though, I am not a fan actually, but he is all the time at the radio. this song is about Romanians that leave the country for different reasons and how we all come back every vacation cause we can't stay away for too long. he also says that we always talk shit about our country when we are in it and when we go abroad we miss everything about it. so true! I do the same!!! The video is funny cause it;s actually a compilation of short videos young Romanian migrants made:)

Puya - Undeva in Balcani (Somwhere in the Balkans) - this one is super funny as well, too bad you don;t know romanian! the song is making fun of Romanian society. a line is: Europe thought we are coming to visit, surprise we came to invade it :))) another super true line: we drive cars that cost more than our homes and spend in clubs more then we actually own.

This was my ringtone for a a year:)

This was probably their most popular song ever:

Love the beat in this one!

In their newest formula:

Friday, August 19, 2011

The story of the snail

Since I've been a little kid I had a great fondness for snails. In Romania, we had this nonsensical song that we would sing to make them come out of their shell. To this day, I still don’t get why we were telling the poor things to go drink murky water from the Danube River as part of the song. But I’m drifting. The reason I liked them so much was that we were told that snails went through life carrying their house on their backs wherever they went, so they never had to miss anything.

Years later, I find myself feeling a bit like the snails of my childhood. Being torn between the East and the West, with my fondest memories as a child and teenager in Romania and the raging twenties spent abroad, I am still trying to come to terms with the fact that “home” has become a state of mind rather than a particular place. It had become the Skype conversations with my friends and family rather than my old room, a trip through the mountains and a day spent by the lake rather than my high school, college or master’s – it has become something that I carry with me at all times rather than something I have to travel towards.

Whether this is good or bad, I cannot say yet. I always thought it’s good to have roots, not only wings. I’ve felt sorry for the people who are too international and who stay silent when you ask them what they consider home. I like that I get furious if some uneducated moronic A-hole insults my country, but I also like the fact that I am not entirely shaped by the place I come from.  I am Romanian but I’d like to think that there are other things that define me more than my nationality.

In reality I’m a bit less optimistic than this. I leave Romania with a little bit of heartbreak every time, but I know my life is not here anymore, at least not entirely. But now, with less than 24 hours before heading back to the cold, noisy, diverse, fast and arguably fun Brussels, I wish for the same thing I always do before I depart: that time would pass just a bit slower for the little snail who carries his house on his back. 

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Romanian music

I've been home for 2 weeks and a bit and in the car, I had the chance to get in touch with Romanian music again. Not my kind of music but super catchy and perfect radio music in my opinion.
Listen to them carefully, they will be all over Europe...if they are not already :)

As for the guys....they should watch the videos carefully :P

Crush and Alexandra Ungureanu - I need you more

Connect-R - Ring the alarm

Delia - Dale

Adrian Eftimie - Lonely

Dj Sava , Andreea D & J. Yolo - Money maker

Raluka - Out of your business

Matteo & Lee More - Champion

blogspot statistics