I've been watching ‘How I met your mother’ obsessively lately, and I must say this show has given me plenty of food for thought! I have already proceeded with downloading Barney Stinson's ‘Bro Code’ app on my phone (there is a ‘Chick Code’ as well, but it is incredibly lame, and let’s face it, I’m awesome), but I must say, the part that really caught my attention was Ted’s Murtaugh list. Named after lieutenant Roger Murtaugh from Lethal weapon who coined the phrase ‘I’m too old for this shit’, it’s basically a list of things one should never do once they reach a certain age. This list is subject to constant change, as you discover you cannot pull of things you were able to pull off before as time goes by.
You know the expression: That’s the worst idea ever, let’s do it! I used to consider myself the poster child for it, but I’m slowly leaving my early twenties behind, and although in theory I would love to still do some of the things I used to do not long ago, I always seem to hit a mental and physical blockade.
So, in honor of the show that I'm addicted to lately, here is my Murtaugh list. Hopefully, if it’s out there, written down, I’ll be more inclined to follow it.
I’m too old for the following:
Calling a skanky b*tch a skanky b*tch in public (I will really miss this one!)
Going out more than two nights in a row
Going to bed without taking my makeup off
Sleeping in a tent (I don’t care how adventurous it is, the first and last time I did it I was almost eaten by dogs and almost got swept away by floods)
Dating anyone younger than me – no exceptions Flavia!!
Considering chips as a substitute for bread
Considering Coke as a substitute for water
Not applying sun screen because you think that’s for sissies
Piercing any part of my body
Wearing ‘I heart boys/cats/my girls/partying/dancing etc’ t-shirts. I mean come on!
Stalking people on any type of social network. I really am too awesome for this.
Taking people who confuse Bucharest with Budapest and Romania with Bulgaria seriously
Listening to empowering girl songs – ew ew ew
Going to a rave party, or anything that resembles a rave
Going to a rave party, or anything that resembles a rave
Taking the stairs instead of the elevator because ‘exercise is good’. Go f*ck yourselves!
Watching videos of snakes, centipedes, tarantulas, alligators, piranhas and sharks and thinking they are totally awesome! What, don’t you judge me!
Watching the Gilmore Girls – it’s cute, I really do like it, but high school is over.
-TO BE CONTINUED-
ok here goes....
ReplyDeleteim too old for:
- Random hookups in clubs with guys whose name you either never got in the first place or forgot 5 seconds later.
- wearing - hooker heels, skini minis and cleavage exposing tops at the same time (one at a time is still appropriate)
- mindlessly watching the tv
- being naive enough to believe that ' just a drink at your place ' really is just a drink at your place
- eating a quick dinner - i need a chair, knife, fork and a good glass of wine
- stalking your ex's ex on fb or your ex's gf or your bf's ex..... - in addition using abbrevs but hey!
- mindless conversation - unless high/drunk etc etc
- Waiting till 4 am to get the first bus home... taxi or car si'l vous plait!
- waiting at the bar forever to get a drink! - with age comes the art of being attended to first!
- I will think of more!
I love them all! and I agree with all, except for the watching tv part, hey! The last one I love, and I'm glad we've got it covered!
ReplyDeleteMy list:
ReplyDelete- too old for partying during the week
- too old for free concerts
- too old to think that all endings are happy endings
-too old to think you only get to love once
-too old to listen to hip-hop (sorry Flavs :P)
-too old to TAKE THE BACCALAUREAT EXAM THIS YEAR! BUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
- too old to have the bodyguard take you out of a club's bathroom for a heavy making out session
-too old to have a actual fight with yor best friend (please note this Flavia)
- too old to think one-night stands make you a slut.
andre, this is a list of things you are too old to do, not a list of all the things you did this last month :))
ReplyDeletefuck you flaviaaaaaahhhhhh :)))))))
ReplyDeleteyes but exactly because i did them this month, they are fresh in my mind as NEVER DO THIS AGAIN! :)or ok ...maybe once or twice more :)
Apart from everything you guys said, I'd add the following on my list:
ReplyDeleteWaking up in the morning and wondering what happened the night before/how did I end up here/where the heck am I etc.
Eating just about anything at any time of the day knowing that you won't get fat - cause you do, damn it!
Not sleeping enough more than maximum 2 nights in a row - now seriously, how did we manage to do that before?
Getting drunk instead of anything and everything - this used to be my motto in my early 20s :)
And also drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol thinking that it will only make you pee more - now it does so many other horrible things to you that it really makes you think twice before having a second glass of wine. Fuck it, I'm really old!
ReplyDeletei totally agree with everything you said lene!!!
ReplyDeleteit also made me remember something else that should be on my list:
TOO OLD to wake up after a night out and say: FUCK MY LIFE, HOW COULD I DO THAT? HOW? HOW! SHIT! FUCK! SHIT! I WILL never get out of the house again! i tend to do that a lot! :)
Also, too old to be in a relationship that would deserve the facebook status "it's complicated".
ReplyDeleteAnd I honestly miss those nights out that you talk about, Andre :)
i can;t honestly say i miss them since 2 out of the 4 weeks of the month I still experience them:))
ReplyDeletethe only issue is if I go wild one weekend...if next one I am not in my bed watching TV shows, I get headaches and my body can't cope with it....TOO OLD! :)
as for "it's complicated".... WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN????? :)))